What Makes Women Great? We Are Adventurous Free Spirits.

OMG this is so funny.  And some of it is a joking look at why it is going to have to be a really special woman to make it as our President.   Don’t think one of that kind is in the running this year, sorry.

DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN’S PERSONAL ADS
      40-ish                                       -       49
      Adventurous                              -       Slept with everyone
      Athletic                                     -       No tits
      Average looking                         -       Ugly
      Beautiful                                    -       Pathological liar
      Contagious Smile                       -       Does a lot of pills
      Emotionally secure                     -       On medication
      Feminist                                    -       Fat
      Free spirit                                  -       Junkie
      Friendship first                           -       Former very *friendly* person
      Fun                                           -       Annoying
      New Age                                   -       Body hair in the wrong places
      Open-minded                             -       Desperate
      Outgoing                                   -       Loud and Embarrassing
      Passionate                                -       Sloppy drunk
      Professional                              -       Bitch
      Voluptuous                                -       Fat
      Large frame                               -       Fat
      Wants Soul mate                       -       Stalker
WOMEN’S ENGLISH
      1. Yes                                                        =       No
      2. No                                                           =       Yes
      3. Maybe                                                     =       No
      4. We need                                                 =       I want
      5. I am sorry                                                =       you’ll be sorry
      6. We need to talk                                       =       you’re in trouble
      7. Sure, go ahead                                        =       you better not
      8. Do what you want                                     =       you will pay for this later
      9. I am not upset                                          =       of course I am upset, you moron!
    10. You’re very attentive tonight                       =       is sex all you ever think about?
MEN’S ENGLISH
1. I am hungry                                                   =       I am hungry
      2. I am sleepy                                                    =       I am sleepy
      3. I am tired                                                       =       I am tired
      4. Nice dress                                                     =       Nice cleavage!
      5. I love you                                                       =       let’s have sex now
      6. I am bored                                                     =       Do you want to have sex?
      7. May I have this dance?                                   =       I’d like to have sex with you
      8. Can I call you sometime?                                =       I’d like to have sex with you
      9. Do you want to go to a movie?                         =       I’d like to have sex with you
      10. Can I take you out to dinner?                         =       I’ d like to have sex with you
      11. Those shoes don’t go with that outfit               =       I’m gay

And finally…..
A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle.

For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine features.
However when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in gasoline and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a 7 iron shoved up his ass.